Operation: RENFAIRE
by Synaptic-Firefly
Summary: Springtime is here and the Renaissance Faire is at full force. Sector V must slap on some armor and help lead the Kids Next Kingdom Over to victory against the Teen Empire and win a lifetime's supply of ice cream. But when the most loyal of operatives are branded as traitors to their own guild and incarcerated, is there more of a sinister plot behind the scenes than meets the eye?
1. To the Renfaire!

**A/N:** Written for kitten's KND monthly art challenge #1 in the KND forums. It's not exactly art but gotta make do with what you know!

* * *

**now loading:**

**kids next door mission**

**operation:**

**r.e.n.f.a.i.r.e.**

**renaissance**

**event**

**nurtures**

**fight**

**against**

**invested**

**rivals**

**extraordinarily**

* * *

There was not a single cloud in the sky in Thackery Park that day. Everyone throughout the neighborhood visited the annual Renaissance Faire there to celebrate that spring had finally come after months of harsh winter.

Five particular children in fact joined the spirit of the medieval flair, each with a different goal in mind over what to do. Kuki was heading the group for once, skipping along happily as her long pink dress fluttered around her ankles.

"La, la, la, la, la!" Kuki sang happily and spun in front of her friends. "I just love spring! And the Renfaire! Grandma really worked hard on my dress this year!"

Abby grinned and elbowed Wally through her thief get-up. "Yeah, Numbuh 4. Think her dress is _pretty_?" Hoagie snickered from behind.

Snorting loudly, Wally instead busied himself with his jousting stick made of tinfoil and broken pipes. "Yeah, if you like _pink_." Kuki's growl of warning made him back up a few paces and back pedal. "I mean… err yeah. You look very…" He grimaced and stuck his tongue out when she wasn't looking. "…_pretty_."

"I just wished you wore something more practical this time, Numbuh 3," Nigel sighed, lowering a giant construction paper filled with crayon drawings of tactical defense and offensive positions. He had been forced to hand over all of his tech gadgets at the ticket booth, constantly forgetting that technology wasn't allowed to preserve the medieval atmosphere. And like every year, it soured his mood. "This year we're going all out, that means no messing around! This is a KND mission, team, not a day off. And one of utmost importance!"

A collective groan was not much of an answer to his battle cry.

Half-pouting, Hoagie stuck his hands into the pockets of his stained blacksmith's apron. "Can't we at least sample the food first? The _Ye Ole Slop Bucket_'s got haggis this year!"

Everyone except Nigel cringed in disgust.

"Boy, yer the only one who eats Grandma Stuffum's nasty cooking and live to tell the tale! Numbuh 5 don't know how your stomach keeps kicking afterwards!" Abby snarked and pinched her nose when that very smell wafted on by the further they walked on.

Hoagie responded by sniffing the air with a happy sigh. "It's not that _bad_ guys, really!"

"We'll take your word for it," Nigel drawled. "but for now, we've got business to take care of!" He pointed at a giant old-looking sign that made his team gape in awe at the medieval script.

_Kingdom Wars: Two guilds shalt war for the honor of obtaining a lifetime's supply of ye olde ice cream! Holler thyselves within!_

Abby pumped her fist at the mention of ice cream. "A lifetime's supply? Numbuh 5 knows where she's gonna be today, baby!"

Walking in front of the sign, Nigel turned and addressed his team at parade rest. "You won't be the only one, Numbuh 5. Global Command has asked us personally to take an interest in it. It is our duty as Kids Next Door operatives to secure the lifetime supply of ice cream to replenish our reserves on the Ice Cream Asteroid Belt. We will fight, we will conquer, and we will be victorious!" Placing a pair of sunglasses over his eyes, he pumped his fists into the air, his own makeshift armor clacking with his movements. "Kids Next Door, _BATTLESTATIONS_!"

"Ahem." Nigel turned and found a gangling adult wearing a jester's uniform. His palm was opened out to him. "Sunglasses weren't in the medieval times, _squire_. Hand them over."

With a grumble, he reluctantly took off his sunglasses and his mood dropped further as he marched off mumbling about stupid adults. Wally and Abby snickered as the rest of them followed their leader toward the heart of the faire, the grounds littered with medieval kiosks and shops like a bazaar.

Whether his team actually tried to keep their minds on the mission or not, Nigel did not know. But the further they walked the more serious people took their roles. Weary blacksmiths were working on real swords that delighted Hoagie's mechanical side while lutes and drums from bards lifted their spirits as deep voiced men chanted a manly song and slammed their tankards together in merriment.

_Thou shalt fall but do not falter!_

_Earn your dignity be it rich or squalor!_

_Fight for love or fight for honor!_

_Either way ye will be a goner! HYAHH!_

Robin Food and his ilk were dancing and entertaining passing customers, singing about fair maidens and honor on the battlefield. People of every age were wearing the simplest of peasant get up to the most elaborate of dresses. Bows and curtsies were abundant with each meeting and there was even one argument over the payment of _horseshoes_.

Squealing with delight, Kuki made her way to the plastic jewelry stand. "Ooooh! This necklace would go perfect with my ribbons! No, no, wait! This one! I change my mind! _This one!_"

"Numbuh 3!" Nigel protested, only to find the rest of his team disperse just as quickly as she did. "Guys!" he whined out but to no avail.

This was going to be a major problem.

"Numbuh 1?"

The familiar voice from behind made him snap to attention and salute his Supreme Leader. "Numbuh 362! I see you've arrived to start the guild!"

Rachel opened her mouth, but apparently one of her knights was happy to do it for her. "You mean High Queen 362! Show some respect, knight!"

"At ease, sir knight," Rachel sighed and patted her on the arm. "One problem with renfaire is the _dresses_. I can't even carry… ugh!" She righted the sash around her waist which slipped around when she tried to show him the lone sword strapped to her hip. "Nevermind! I probably won't even use any weapons with you guys doing the fighting anyways."

"Apologies your majesty, but with you off Moonbase extra precautions had to be made," Nigel said with an air of professionalism. "And with The Steve representing the Teen Empire for this competition, I understand your reason for being here but if anything happens to you-"

"I've got the best operatives here defending me, _Sir Nigel_," Rachel interrupted with a reassuring grin. "And I'm not made of glass. I _was_ a spy a buhmillion years ago after all!"

His smile was minute, but her words were effective in calming him down. "My mistake, _your majesty_. I'm well aware that you are capa-"

Two older teens brutally shoved against him so hard he fell over.

"Hey! That was uncalled for!" Rachel said coldly, truly in her guise as a high queen. Even her crown seemed to glimmer dangerously in the spring sun. "Turn thy selves around and apologize to my knight, you rambunctious cur!"

"Gladly." One of the teens turned around and took off his black helmet. Rachel's guards immediately drew out their swords.

"_Chad_," Nigel drawled and unsheathed his sword. "What was the crime for traitors in the medieval times? _High treason_? I bet they did worse than decommission traitors."

Chad brushed his blond hair back and sneered at the both of them. "Cute. I'm just _shaking_ in my gauntlets. I hope you're both ready for a good thrashing on the battlefield because you long since need one. Especially _you_, Uno." He growled when the tip of Nigel's plastic sword nearly pressed against his throat.

"I'll be looking for you on the battlefield too, Numbuh 274," Nigel swore, keeping an eye on the battle-ax clipped to Chad's belt. "Then we'll see who's the better operative."

"Easy. That'll be _me_," Chad spat and smacked the blade aside. "And then I'm going after your queen and once she falls the teens will win a lifetime's supply of ice cream."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. "Save your gloating for the end, _Sir Chad_, though you probably won't need it. The _Kids Next Kingdom Over_ will be victorious in this battle."

"You wish." With a parting snicker, Chad and his fellow knight shoved another one of their kids and disappeared into the crowd.

"Don't let him get to you," Rachel warned once she noticed Nigel shaking in anger. "He wants you to lose focus and screw up. Show him what loyal operatives can really do, soldier."

"Yes sir!" he grounded out.

"NIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGIIIIIIIEEEEE!" His back suddenly stiffening, Nigel switched emotions and nervously laughed at the curious expression on his commanding officer's face.

Lizzie Devine bounded toward them in her flowery yellow dress while waving a handkerchief at him. She stopped just inches away from him as if realizing something and curtsied before pulling him in for a bone crushing hug. "I mean… _Sir_ Nigie!" she giggled.

To Nigel's surprise, Rachel was trying not to laugh through her own smile. "You must be Lizzie. I mean, _Lady_ Lizzie."

Probably realizing that Nigel had just been conversing with another girl, Lizzie immediately became defensive and tugged Nigel's arm close to her. "Yeah and who are you?! My Nigie has a girlfriend, thank you very much!"

Rachel shook her head and shrugged with good humor. "I'm his boss."

"Oh." Lizzie blinked. "Well he still _has_ a girlfriend!"

"Well I'm not here to steal any boyfriends from anyone," His commanding officer defused the tension with a snicker, much to his horror. This was a side of her he'd never seen before. "I'm the queen of his guild and I was just telling him about the Kingdom Wars that we're participating in."

Lizzie bounced up and down at her words with excitement. "You're fighting in the Kingdom Wars, Nigie?! How romantic! Make sure you wear my favor so everyone can see!"

Nigel tried to smile. "Uh… okay, Liz… err, _m'lady_." Clearing his throat, he was back into his cool KND persona again. "This is an important mission, Lizzie, so I can't spend time with you today."

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Lizzie growled and began pulling him away. "You've got at least an hour before the Kingdom Wars begin, Sir Nigel Uno! And you're going to spend time with me on this beautiful day whether you like it or not!"

Rachel shrugged back as if to say, '_she's right you know_'. "Don't worry, sir knight. When you come back we'll have a plan ready to go against the Teen Empire. Enjoy thy self!"

"But I want to strategize for the mission!" Nigel whined right on back, wishing he'd rather be going over battle strategy with Numbuh 362 and the other tactical commanders than go on a 'date'.

But you can't say no to Lizzie Devine. Not for long anyways.

**transmission interrupted**


	2. A Lady's Favor

**transmission re-established**

Wally ran on over to the jousting area, showing off his stick.

"Not bad, but how about this?" Ace replied, somewhat admiring the handiwork that went into Numbuh 4's weapon until he pulled out his own that was much more well-crafted and taller in appearance.

Wally snorted. "You call that a jousting stick?" he egged on to Ace before he pulled out _another_ jousting stick, this one five times longer than the one he was toting around. The other jousters whistled in appreciation which stoked Wally's pride further. He puffed out his chest. "This is how you say '_kicking thy keester_' in Australia!"

"Hmph, size doesn't matter if you don't have a lady's favor to give you luck," Ace said smoothly and pulled out a wreath of colorful flowers.

Wally pretended to gag at it and then laughed. "You gonna wear that in the competition? That's so… _girly_!"

"It's not for _me_!" Ace snapped before gesturing over to the jewelry kiosk where a sizeable amount of girls began to form there. "Lady Kuki! May I grace myself with your beautiful presence?"

Slack jawed, Wally watched as Kuki turned and giggled at Ace before curtsying. "You may, sir knight!" She squealed in delight when he presented her with the wreath of flowers. "Ooooh! How pretty!"

"Not as pretty as you," Ace bowed before placing the wreath upon the crown of her dark hair. "I was wondering if I may have a token of favor from you for my jousting competition? Surely wearing something of yours would bless me with the greatest of luck."

One of the jousters whistled lowly to Wally's right which immediately set him off. "Smoothie. He's definitely a _smoothie_."

"OI!" Wally snapped and tried to roll his sleeves up only to scrub at his armor. The confusion nearly had him fall backwards onto the mud if not for one of the jousters who pulled him back up by the armpits at the last minute.

"At ease, cadet."

Wally ignored Kuki and Ace long enough to spare a second look at his 'savior'. "_Cadet_? Is that you, Numbuh 60?"

"The one and only." Lifting off his helmet, dark hair and storm grey eyes revealed themselves to the shorter operative. "You should save that anger for the jousting. I hear Ace has been practicing all winter to keep his title."

Wally snorted loudly. "Yeah, well I've been practicing _all year_! He's not gonna best me this time!" For the first time in months, the lightbulb in his head clicked. "Hey, what chu doing here anyways? Ain't ya supposed to be at the Arctic Base?"

Patton scratched at his helmet hair. "Numbuh 1 didn't tell you? This year it's guild against guild for the lifetime's supply of ice cream. Sector V's going to need all the help you can get from Global Command. Got some of our best fighters here training. Here…" he slapped some kind of sticker right on Wally's breastplate, a coat of arms with the letters _KNKO_ emblazoned on it. "_Kids Next Kingdom Over_. Named after the fourth age of the KND."

He patted his breastplate, blue eyes widening in awe. "Cooooool." Revved up now that he belonged to a proper guild, Wally punched his palm. "We're gonna kick some major-!"

"Sir Wallllllyyyyy!" Kuki giggled and waved at them before bounding over, ignoring Ace completely much to his frustration. "And Sir Patton! Do you both want my favors for the joust?! I've still got five more ribbons!"

"Nah, but thanks," Patton replied and raised an eyebrow at the green ribbons in her fist. "You're just giving your favors out like candy! It's supposed to be for only _one_ knight!"

Kuki held the ribbons close to her chest as if Patton just offended them. "Well, not_ these_ favors of course! They don't match my dress! These are good luck favors since everybody asked for one last year and I didn't have enough! This one is my _real_ lady's favor!" She pulled out a long pink ribbon from her pocket and dangled it in front of Wally. He gagged at the color.

"Who'd want to wear_ that_ on their armor?!" Wally protested. "I'd be laughed out of the stables!"

Kuki huffed, picked up her dress, and stomped away with a glare. "Fine! I wasn't going to give it to you anyway, Numbuh 4!"

There was a moment of silence before Patton cleared his throat. "Are you usually as dense as your file says or are you just really good at pretending?"

"OI!"

* * *

Dressed in peasants outfits, Nick and Chip sat on the announcers booth overlooking the jousting tournament. The stadium was jam packed with people and the cheers were near deafening.

"Hear ye, hear ye! Welcome to the 35th Annual Jousting Tournament brought to you by _Hap-Happy Land_. _If you're not hap-happy, then we're not doing our jo-job_!" Nick opened the event and fiddled with his ear piece.

_"Ahem."_

They both turned to find the very same jester confiscating their earpieces. "No earpieces back in the medieval ages!"

"This renfaire sure stays true to their roots, don't they Nick?" Chip asked aloud as the jester stomped away.

Nick straightened in his seat and grinned, gesturing to the two microphones secretly disguised as tankards. "They sure do, Chip, they sure do. Now on to the proceedings! It looks like we've got the same participants as last year hoping to beat fan favorite Ace for this year's competition."

"Ain't that a one-trick pony," Chip countered professionally. "Like Sir Wallabee Beetles. Every year the poor squire just falls short of winning. All power, but no technique."

Down below, Wally hopped off his pony to point and yell at the announcers. "HEY! Say that to my face, you stoopid...!"

Nick and Chip remained completely oblivious to Wally's taunts. "And we've got a new applicant on our rosters. Word on the grapevine is that this dark horse might be a better opponent against Sir Ace." Nick said and unrolled a parchment to read off it. "Sir Patton Drilovsky who's also Captain of the Royal Guard for the Kids Next Kingdom Over guild. One that will be squaring off against the Teen Empire in the upcoming _Kingdom Wars_ tournament. We'll be expecting a lot from this distinguished knight that's for sure!"

Snorting, Wally kicked the dirt and glowered at Patton, whose expression he couldn't see under the dark helmet. "Listen to these morons! They don't know what a good joust is if it bit them right on the-!"

One of the referrees sounded loudly from a large horn. "All participants prepare yourselves for the first round! Sir Wally versus Sir Ace! Man your positions and may the gods smile upon you! Excelsior!"

"Well well!" Chip voice reverberated throughout the stadium. "It looks like the powers that be decided to take out the weaker competition in the first round! Poor Beetles, let's hope they give him at least a complimentary keychain for his troubles."

"SHUT UP!" Wally snarled before mounting his pony and moving to the edge of the stadium. "I'm gonna win and the first thing I'll do is shove that first place ribbon right in your smug faces!"

"Sir Wally!" He turned to find Kuki dangling from the edge of the stands, waving excitedly at him. "You're not wearing a lady's favor! Don't you want to wear one?!"

The infernal pink ribbon danced in front of his vision and he cringed once more at it. "As if! I can win this on my own without some girly favor!" he shouted and leveled his jousting stick at the sound of the second horn and kicked his pony into a gallop.

Nick leaned forward excitedly. "And they're off, maidens and peasants! Sir Ace's form is just perfect, but it looks like Sir Wally is gaining ground for the advantage!"

"GO WALLY!" Kuki shouted over the large cheers and waved her handkerchief alongside the other ladies. "Watch out for mud because you're not wearing a lady's favor!"

Oddly enough, Wally could single her voice out against the crowd. "For the last time!" he yelled, shooting a look toward the audience. "I'M NOT WEARING A STUPID FAV-!"

The blunt end of Ace's jousting stick hit him hard in the chest. He flopped immediately off his pony and landed right into the mud with a loud crash of metal and wood.

The crowd laughed and cheered as Ace's pony made its rounds across the stadium, its occupant absorbing the jeers and shouts of his name in triumph.

_"SIR ACE! SIR ACE! SIR ACE!"_

"Ouch! Well good luck next time, _Sir Wally the One-Trick Pony_!" Chip announced once the crowd died down. "At least you'll get a keychain for participating!"

Throwing his helmet aside, Wally smacked the mud beneath him and snarled when his pony started to eat at his hair. "Ger-off you stoopid animal! Stoopid ponies! Stoopid favors!"

To the KNKO's credit, a few rounds later Numbuh 60 and Ace tangoed with each other at the final match and everyone watched with bated breath as Patton secured his victory with a well disciplined smack of his jousting stick right at Ace's head.

After Numbuh 10 sashayed her way over to pin the medal to his breastplate and give him a complimentary kiss on the cheek for his exceptional jousting, Patton smirked and shrugged when he met Wally and Kuki halfway out the stadium.

Kuki bounced on her heels and giggled excitedly. "Yay for Numbuh 60! You were great!"

"Yeah, whatever," Wally grumbled and kicked up a fine lair of dust. Kuki frowned and tried to keep the hem of her sparkling dress away from the dirt.

"Hey!" Kuki whined. "I don't want dirt on my dress, Wally!"

Wally answered by stomping angrily around the dirt. "I don't get it! How'd you manage to top Ace?!"

With an apologetic grin, Patton lowered his jousting stick and revealed a dark blue-green ribbon wrapped around the handle. Wally slapped his forehead and groaned.

Kuki grinned triumphantly. "Told you! It's because he had a lady's favor!"

**transmission interrupted**


	3. The Haggis Thickens!

**transmission re-established**

While Wally and Kuki busied themselves with the jousting competition, Hoagie completely took the scenic route by heckling the blacksmiths into 'modifying' current weapons to make it efficient and nearly getting kicked out for his efforts.

"Oh come on! My ideas are flawless!" Hoagie begged while being dragged and tossed on his butt away from the blacksmithing area. "And when the KNKO kicks some major tail at the Kingdom Wars you're going to be begging for _Great Hoagie Gilligan's_ weapon designs-OW!" His belt of tools soared in the air and hit him right on the noggin. He was secretly glad for his helmet.

He brushed himself off and left before they could toss more things at him... like an _anvil_. "_Sheesh_, everyone's a critic!"

But it didn't matter. Patting his tummy as it grumbled in sympathy, Hoagie took a brisk walk over to the _Ye Olde Slop Bucket_ where his favorite villain was serving the populace her disgusting food. He knew exactly what he wanted on the menu this year!

"A plate of your best haggis, m'lady," Hoagie said happily and slid on one of the stools. "And I know you'll make it extra haggy because get it? You're dressed up as a _hag_!" He doubled over backwards and laughed loudly at his own joke. It earned him a few groans in his direction.

Grandma Stuffums waved her wooden spoon angrily at him. "You little brat! I'm not dressed as a hag!"

"Aye, ye look like a witch ter me!" An Irish drawl immediately sobered Numbuh 2 up. Before he could even blink, Numbuh 86 made a grab for the plate of haggis Grandma Stuffum set on the counter.

"Hey!" Hoagie protested and grabbed back the bowl. "That's mine!"

Fanny growled and pulled the bowl back. "Wrong ye stoopid boy! I ordered it first!"

"You can _both_ fight over it," Grandma Stuffum cackled and parted some choice words before she slammed the closed shutters over her kiosk. "That's the last batch I have for today, you no good Kids Next Door brats!"

They both continued this tug-o-war for some time, though Fanny's temper was quickly growing short with each second. "As yer Global Tactical Officer, I _order_ you ter hand over the haggis!"

"If you think you can pull rank on me over _food_, you can think again!" Hoagie tossed right on back. "Can't we at least _rock-paper-scissors_ who gets it? It's getting cold!"

Shooting him a suspicious look, Fanny pushed the plate in the middle of the counter and pointed severely at him. "Fine, but I'm watching you, you scheming boy! If you so much as _touch_ the plate before we decide on a victor, I'm gonna hog tie you with yer own harness!"

Hoagie gulped at the idea. "I'm not gonna do that!"

"Smart move... fer a boy," she sneered and offered her hand. That was when he could readily see her entire outfit: an inspired half-kilt, half-leather get-up entirely made in blue-green plaid. "Ready?"

They both shouted in unison, "_Rock! Paper! Scissors!_", and then tossed their hands in front of them, his fingers mimicking scissors and hers flat for paper.

"Ha! The haggis is mine!" Hoagie crowed in victory until Fanny let out a dangerous sound of a growl mixed with a snarl until she screamed like a banshee. Cowering, he shoved the plate back over to her. "Okay, okay! Jeez! Take it! What are you doing here anyways?"

"Oh, ye think Global Command will let Sector V deal with the lifetime's supply of ice cream do ya?" Fanny gloated through a mouthful of haggis and then pointed a fork at him. "How many times have yer team secured the Delightful's cake..." Hoagie opened his mouth. "And I mean the cake_ intact_, ye stoopid boy! And _failed_?"

He closed it back up again and grumbled. "So... four cakes in a row. There's_ five_ of them! Next time we'll get it for sure!" With a pout, he tried to reach for a piece of the haggis only to get slapped for his efforts. "Aw, c'mon! Just a _taste_!"

"Go get yer own!" Fanny said with an insipid smirk before joyously taking another bite just to spite him. "And why aren't ya working on the guild's weapons?! Trying ter fail another mission again on purpose this time?!"

"Puh-lease, we've got time!" Unfurling a large stack of old paper, he stretched the schematics out on his side of the table much to Fanny's displeasure when it nearly overlapped her plate. "Engineers back in the medieval times were brilliant, by the way! Who'd have thought that using a bow to shoot sticks with points on the end of them could totally take down an enemy's defenses long-range?"

Fanny patted the butt of her long bow over her shoulder in between chews. "Aye, tha's my job. Long-range. Haven't met another operative tha' can shoot like me."

"And that's why I made these!" He tossed a large bag over his notes and pulled out a few prototype arrows that even made Fanny's eyes widen at how diverse they were. "Net arrows, plunger arrows, arrows that split into three in midair! And don't get me started on the shields I custom-made for the occasion! The Teen Empire won't know what hit their pubescent behinds!"

She immediately lunged hungrily for them. "GIMME!"

Having faster reflexes, Hoagie managed to pull his gadgets away from her greedy hands and stuck his tongue out at her. "Oh no you don't! You want a piece of _this_, you gotta give me a piece of _that_." He pointed to the half-eaten haggis.

Growling, Fanny shoved the plate over. "_Fine_. Now hand over yer arrows before I actually use them on ye!"

"Geez. _Greedy_," he mumbled with a full mouth while she went through his bag like a kid who stole Santa's red bag. "And don' take it all! Some are for the ground forces! Oof!" He began to wheeze and choke from a large piece of haggis lodged in his throat.

Someone thumped at his back hard until he coughed and swallowed the obstruction completely. "Ugh... thanks Numbuh 5."

"No problem, Numbuh 2," Abby greeted coolly and took a seat next to him. "Numbuh 5's nose was feeling better so she figured Grandma Stuffums closed early today."

Fanny's hostile demeanor completely changed when Abby joined them. "Ah, finally a _competent_ operative! How was yer patrol of the grounds, Numbuh 5?"

Abby shrugged and sat back in her seat. "Numbuh 5 couldn't get much from the Teen Empire, but she did scope out the battlegrounds before she did some shoppin'. Just sayin', Numbuh 5 heard some things from some of the teens walking around. King Steve might have ferrets to use against our hamsters."

"I'll be sure ter forward this information ter High Queen 362 at once. Excellent work, Numbuh 5!" Fanny nodded as she stuffed her quiver full of prototype arrows. "And I see your _leader_ is nowhere ter be found! Just like a _boy_ ter shirk his duties!"

"Hey!" Hoagie protested weakly. "He can't help it. That Lizzie... we should put _her_ on the front lines!"

Abby snickered at that. "Numbuh 5 agrees with that! Stick her on the front and then put Numbuh 1 right in King Steve's circle. She'll mow through his defenses like wet tissue paper, baby!" Hoagie began to crack up and both him and Abby soon devolved into a fit of snickers.

Fanny wasn't as amused. In fact, she was rubbing her chin, carefully considering those words. Hoagie and Abby traded confused glances before they realized and back pedaled.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Numbuh 86! It was just a joke!" squeaked Hoagie.

Abby nodded fervently. "Numbuh 1 wouldn't like that at all. Just sayin', Numbuh 86. And if you _do_ do it, don't pin the idea on us! Numbuh 5 want nothin' to do with that!"

Fanny and Hoagie began to argue for and against using Lizzie when a couple of adults behind Abby began to talk about ice cream that made her ears perk up. If there was anyone whose love for ice cream was practically a superpower, it would be Numbuh 5 herself.

"And I'm telling you," the adult snarled to the other. "that we shouldn't have something like ice cream as the grand prize!"

The other adult looked around, in a jester's costume that Abby had seen before, and gestured quietly to the angry adult for a place more secretive to talk. Eyes narrowing, Abby lowered her red feathered cap over them and slid out of the booth.

"Numbuh 5?" Fanny raised an eyebrow. "Where are yeh goin'?"

She coolly waved them off. "Numbuh 5 smells something fishy. She gonna do a little rogue work."

Both Hoagie and Fanny looked at each other. "Err... but we don't have time for that!" Hoagie said in protest. "The battle's going to happen in a half hour and High Queen 362 is gonna sound the recruiting horn any..."

As if on cue, the low tone of a trumpet reached their ears and caused many people to look up in wonderment.

Down in the jousting area, Wally, Kuki, and Patton looked up at the sky and, trading determined nods, they quickly grabbed their gear and head off with the rest of the stragglers.

When Abby started to move after the adults before she lost them completely, she warned Hoagie and Fanny off, who had started to gear up and follow her. "Numbuh 5's got this. You guys head to the guild. Numbuh 5'll be there before the event."

"If you say so," Hoagie said, unsure, but Abby had quickly disappeared through the crowd. With a shrug, he followed Fanny towards the heart of the faire.

* * *

Funny thing about adults, they're too big to _not_ be spotted. Abby had managed to catch them disappearing into one of the tents designed for a gypsy settlement and dodged Numbuh 10's questions and dangling gold bracelets to sneak inside.

"Like I said before, the grand prize for those bratty kids and those punk teens are just a show," the jester said with a grin. Abby hid between the barrels and listened in. "Mr. Boss had it set all up! Brilliant plan, I say!"

The other adult wasn't very convinced. "What? So we're just gonna say _'nah_ _nah, there's no ice cream'_? Yeah, _great_ plan."

"No you idiot!" the Jester's hat shook and the bells rang loud enough to startle Abby. "It's a ruse! Kids never read the fine print on those stupid posters." Unfurling a smaller version of the poster from his pocket, he grabbed a pair of reading glasses and magnified the tiny text on the bottom.

The other adult read it aloud. "_'The winner won't really win ice cream because we know kids and teens don't read contracts. The winner will receive an all-expense paid trip to the Junior Institution for Violent Youth and Troublemaking Teens for all of summer and winter break. Nah nah nah nah.'_ Genius! This is genius!"

The jester closed the poster with a snap. "Of course it is! And with the kids and teens fighting for our amusement, and the loser's forces thinned while the winners are shipped off to a security center, they'll be one less group of brats to worry about!" Both of the adults began to laugh diabolically.

"Not if Numbuh 5 has any say in this," Abby murmured under her breath before backing up and accidentally knocking a barrel over with a loud thump. She stilled in surprise when the adults caught her.

"It's one of those brats next door!" the adult snarled.

With a shout, Abby kicked one of the poles holding up the tent and tumbled out as the cloth roof caved on them. "Wrong. It's the_ Kids _Next Door_, _baby!"

She had to run and tell High Queen 362 before they shipped out!

**transmission interrupted**


End file.
